Morning thoughts

Previously posted 7/2/16

Sunday Night

9:30pm.

They better call an ambulance, I'm going to kill this week.

My lunch is packed, my car is ready for the commute and I just spent the last half hour downloading inspirational podcasts that I am going to relish in the morning.

Coffee maker is set. I'm going to start drinking my coffee black tomorrow, because it's healthy. I pre-made a healthy breakfast, time to get that body back.

NOTE: I never had this body.

Bring it Monday. Bring it.

Monday Morning

3:50 am.

Cruel, cruel, world.

3:51 am.

I can't find my pants. Or underwear. Why did I leave the blinds in the rest of the house open? Are the neighbors up? Do I really have to army crawl to find my pants?

3:53 am.

Yes. That's dog shit on my foot.

3:57 am.

They can take beer and whiskey from me but if they ever took coffee from me I would seriously go Braveheart on them. And hell no I'm not drinking this stuff black.

FREEDOM!

4:05 am.

There is little that goes on during this time but slamming coffee and looking at Facebook.

4:10 am.

Who the fuck decided blueberries, oatmeal and turkey bacon was healthy? Where's the cake the wife made?

4:12 am.

Who hides cake in the microwave? My wife.

4:13 am.

Hell yes.

4:18 am.

This is the part of the day where I eat with the dogs on the porch. I always envisioned this as a peaceful time, waiting for dawn to erupt beneath the surface of the tree line.

Our dogs Molly, Leah and Potato would sit faithfully beside me; honoring the sacrifices I had made to give them a good home and a happy mutt life.

Yes we have 3 dogs. And yes, it's fine. Seriously it's fine. It's fine...

It is usually like this though.

Thank God I don't have human kids.

4:30 am.

My wife wakes up to say good bye before going back to sleep. She is always a bundle of joy. Unfortunately she does not always remember this part of the day.

There are so many wonderful things I want to say back. But usually it just comes out like this.

4:32 am.

4:33 am.

4:33:05 am.

4:33:10 am.

4:33:11 am.

4:35 am.

I pack my things, load the car, look for lost keys...

4:50 am.

My commute is 45 miles or so. For this reason when I moved to Portland and took this job I had to trade in something that was very dear to me: my truck. I bought a fuel efficient vehicle, one that I used to make fun of before. For those of you that have been living under a rock and do not know what a Prius looks like I am sure you have passed one before. They look like this on the road:

You can recognize me on the road in mine. How? It is the only Prius on the I-5 corridor that does not have a coexist sticker.

4:53 am.

I have switched the podcast off I had downloaded. I cannot take the rays of positivity at this hour. I switch to NPR and prepare to be informed in other ways.

4:53:30 am.